Philosophy: Vow of Silence

or, Love is a secret thing.

. . . in all that divided them, in the distance that held them apart, there was room for desire without terror, there was room and time for love without effect, without penalty or pain. The only price was silence.

She was silent.

— Ursula K. LeGuin, The Beginning Place

   The price is silence, isn’t it? The price for desire without terror, and for love without penalty, is silence. Loving, without asking anything in return, is free. Only, you must be very careful to truly ask nothing in return, and that includes asking the loved to know of your love.
   One of the most difficult things to ask someone to do is to knowingly allow themselves to be the object of your dreams and affections. For love is above all a secret thing. Love does not display itself, and love overtly displayed is merely pride making use of another.
   Love is a thing which must always be acted upon. One cannot knowingly be loved and do nothing. When the discovery is made, one must choose to allow it or to disallow it. There is no way, no matter what the previous situation, to remain neutral: which is why it is such a grave demand to make of someone that they know that you love them.

   If someone knows that you love them — and believes that you have a true and deepening love, rather than simple infatuation — it is very likely they will be taken aback. “Thrown for a loop” might be one way of phrasing it. In fact, whether their reaction ultimately will be accepting or not, a disappearance on their part may likely be in order. When she returns, it will be definite. If she does return, no matter what she may say, some degree of acceptance exists.

And to a heart that has broken the vow of silence, whatever little there is, is enough.

Crosspost: Random Quill and Harbour in the Scramble